Review: Love Simon, Love Salmon?

Put some mayo packets in your bag.

Why is everyone so afraid of calling something an institution? Be brave and make declarations. Say what you want.

I’ve been toying with the idea of making my return to Sushi Train for three months before this visit. It’s definitely a return, me and Sushi Train go all the way back to the Gloria Jeans years of my life. Year eight to year ten respectively.

It’s something so deeply suburban, something I can’t share with the beach bums or city girls in my life. I wonder if this is even a universal experience.

My Mum is allergic to fish, so growing up my Dad and brother Max used to get knee deep into Sushi Train when Mum was otherwise occupied. Kind of like sneaking out the back door to eat raw fish, something cutting edge at the time. We’d stack plate on plate in a gourmand but socially accepted exercise. I had a membership card.

If you don’t recognise it as one, I hope to show you that Sushi Train is an institution of the suburban life.

Founded in 1993 by Bob Jones, we introduced Australia to the Rotation Sushi Bar System, blending traditional Japanese craftsmanship with a fun, interactive dining experience.

From a single restaurant in Surfers Paradise, we’ve grown to 49 locations across Australia and 2 in New Zealand, serving fresh, expertly crafted sushi by our skilled sushi chef daily at each Sushi Train store. So hop on board and enjoy the ride!

(A direct excerpt from their website.)

If I want to be honest with myself, I was the one to champion going. I felt it in my gut, it was time to make my prodigal return. Humble was thrown around, artificer and what not. I threw in the challenge of Foveaux Street to deter my dining partners. I had already decided however, table for three.

The Food

Sushi Hub and I ride pretty deep together. I am going to be honest here, her and I have had some really good times together, and it’s rare that I would cheat. Love cheating however, usually for old times sake you can cheat a little bit.

Sushi Train Surry Hills boasts a 174 item deep menu, stretching Nigiri and Aburi, to hand rolls, hot dishes and desserts. Some dishes rotate on a mechanical train around the restaurant, ready for you to grab. The others are on an order basis, via a little iPad built into your booth. Stack your plates, then pay at the end.

8:30am training that morning had my body prepped to make some damage. I think that working out in the morning is part of the sushi train experience, to the extent that I recommend it.

I plowed my way through the highlights reel before I let myself get crazy with it. Salmon belly nigiri, maguro nigiri, kanikama salad ship and agedashi tofu. I’m four deep and there is no sign of weakness.

The sushi delivers what you expect. I think that’s earnest in that way, delivering as you remember sushi. The fish isn’t the highest grade, and the rice is slightly dry, and everyone is drenching everything in soy. If I want to back up the unagi nigiri with literal seafood extender, I need to be honest about why I am here. It’s not quality.

It’s quantity, let’s keep it pushing.

Unfortunately the ebi tempura fails to stand up to the Sushi Hub prawn katsu roll, and I feel sad for a moment. Moving into the chilli wagyu beef roll helped recover this quickly, the touch of teriyaki and pickled ginger giving me what I wanted. Seaweed ship whilst I think about the wagyu.

A mackerel nigiri brings a new flavour into the Sushi Train gauntlet that I haven’t seen before. It’s oily and sweet flesh goes well with the irresponsible amount of soy I dip it in. I have an aburi salmon belly nigiri whilst I think about the mackerel.

I finish on Inari. Everyone wants to hate on Inari so bad but I love her down. I get it sometimes, but this one is perfect.

The Sushi Train je ne sais quoi still delivers. Mid-grade sushi to you as quick as possible. The top note is pretty much soy sauce each time, but whatever really. I know what I want.

I didn’t get dessert because what the fuck.

Top dish: Unagi Nigiri, $5.20 (gold plate).
Can’t miss: Tuna Mayo, for old times sake, $3.80 (blue plate).
Underrated hero: Kewpie Mayo packets.

The Interior

Shout out the Sushi Train marketing team for real. Great work.

All of their print assets feature consistent typeface, with strong design composition. The signature Sushi Train green is used well across all print products, and their never-been-updated logo proudly stamped wherever they can. Pulling design principles from late 2000s Japan and blending them into a canva template is what marketing really is all about.

Dusty round paper lanterns, faux-leather booths and Spotify’s Top 100 Australia playing sets you up for a purposefully mid dining experience. Great stuff team.

The Vibes

It was genuinely heart warming to see the suburban tradition of a Sushi Train Saturday is alive and well. Soccer boots clunked onto the floor, gym towels around shoulders, each table had pile of car keys on it. That’s nice.

I mean that, it made me really happy. The part of my pre-frontal cortex that developed in the suburbs finds comfort in a pram parking area, with young mums in adidas sambas fretting around their lululemon kids bags. Forcing their two year old to finish a plate of cucumber baby rolls. I know these women well, they are probably going to have a mid-range cheese board later.

The Surry hills outpost meant these mums are rubbing shoulders with a few gay guys in Gym Shark singlets. That’s really cool too. The gay guys are pumping the wagyu beef, leaving the salmon for the young mums. Like bio-diversity in a way, even if the rolls are all replenished.

There is many ways to look at a rose, all of which smell just as sweet. Some more romantic than others. I think I am romaticising this too much. Fuck it though.

The Verdict

Fujoshi down girl, I love Sushi Train.

Sushi Train Surry Hills delivers exactly what it promises you. Mid-range sushi in a fun, but not too silly, eating format. The food is ready when you are, and over consumption isn’t exactly looked down upon.

I am trying pretty hard not to catcher-in-the-rye this shit and romanticise a sushi train. I really can’t help it, there is an inextricable tie between me and this mundane eating format. I love a mid-range Saturday lunch after some form of exercise, dripping in a waterfall of mad gossip about someone you hardly know.

Pour up another sprite for me my good man. You’re doing honourable work.

Four out of Five Stars.

Mentioned in this Post:
Sushi Train Surry Hills, 1/81 Foveaux St, Surry Hills NSW 2010.